An Open Letter to My First Love

 

Dear X,

I'm writing this letter because over the years I've tried to forgive you, but I don't think it's possible.  One thing I hold over everything is honestly, you broke through all my walls only to build them up two times higher, and then you pulled the plug.  When we parted it should have been the end, before all the lies, hurt, and all the time I lost.  My life I loved will never be the same after you.

As you hurt me, as you insulted my intelligence, and made me feel small; I fell so hard in love with you, and now I feel numb, nothingness.  Everything you said and promised me about the future was only a fabrication of what you thought I wanted, to make me stay, and make me love you.

After all this time, I ask myself, why I loved you.  There were so many moments when I just wanted to shut down and end everything before things got complicated and hard.  When I moved away I realized how much you meant to me, and leaving you felt like a part of my body ripping apart.

You broke me more than I ever thought humanly possible.  I was never the girl to be crying over anything; I was stone cold and you were the first person to make me express love.  Every part of me loved you.  When I was having a stressful day at school and you would say how much you missed me and you couldn't wait until I was home.

When I look back at us, letting you in was all my fault.  You were the attractive vampire I let into my house, and took all the life out of me.  Your smile and the way you held me, made me melt, into a lovestruck teenager I would have said "Oh honey" to.  When you would say you were too tired to do something, or busy, I should have seen through it.  When you made these excuses it seemed harmless, and I believed and trusted you.

In the end you were not a mistake, if anything you are one of the best decisions I've ever made.  You made me realize that someone like you is the last thing I need in my life.  Even though I don't find you a negative part of my life, the good parts of us outnumber the painful moments by a great deal.  But you did something that I don't find forgivable.  Cheating is something I find unforgivable.  Promising to be faithful to someone and breaking that promise is not a mistake.  It's not forgetting an anniversary or not calling me back.  It's something I had to get over on my own.  I had to learn to get through my stressful college days without a sweet call from you.  Coming home without escaping with you, I had to learn to live without love.

Wherever you are in the world right now, I do hope you're happy.  Even though I will never forgive you, and never be able to open up and connect to someone easily.  The only thing I would ever want to say to you is: don't treat people like this.  If you're going to be with someone, be honest with them, and don't hurt them.

15 Questions Fashion Tag!

 I've been told I'm full of secrets and surprises.  Which I always thought was a good thing, you can never tell what to expect from me.  This is for all the people who want to know a little bit more about me.

1) What is your favorite style to wear? 

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Classic, I’ve never been into very “girly” clothing, even though I do love occasionally dressing up in heels and a skirt. I’m most myself in a pair of high waisted shorts and a cute blouse. 

2) Who is your fashion role model? 

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 One of my biggest fashion role models is Kerry Washington, I’ve never seen her on a red carpet or in her daily life looking anything less than perfect. 

3) What do you always have on?   

Photo courtesy of cranberryjewelers.net

One thing I always have on is my Cape Cod bracelet. I got it when I was in second grade for Christmas and it only has left my wrist for sports games; also, it’s a little of a pain to take off.  If you’re ever looking for the best Cape Cod bracelets stop by The Unique Boutique. 

 4) What are your favorite jeans? 

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 My favorite jeans are a skinny jean from American Eagle.  I don’t know what it is about these jeans, but they are magic.  Jeans literally never fit me, I swear I must have the weirdest fit, but in these jeans I’m flawless.

5. Do you own something you've never worn? 

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Sadly, this is the worst part of my fashion addiction.  I have a closet full of things, that I’ve mostly only worn once or things I wear multiple times a week.

6. Most comfortable article of clothing I own is my? 

Photo courtesy of dirtysouthvintage.com

If you’re ever looking for the best gift to get anyone for Christmas, get them a mystery flannel or mystery sweater on Etsy.  They are possibly the most comfortable piece of clothing I’ve ever worn and my life would not be the same without them. 

7) Who influenced you to write about fashion? 

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What influenced me to write about fashion was how it, in recent years, has had a negative influence.  I’ve always loved fashion and never wanted to see it as a negative.  I created dontbecommonfashion.com as a way for people to share their love of fashion without any judgment. 

8) What is your fave store?  

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 The ones I can afford or the ones I watch for sales like a pro? The stores I love, but can't afford yet are, Free People, Anthropologie, Alice and Olivia and Nordstrom.  The store that is my favorite would be American Eagle.  They always have the cutest clothing, and the prices are the best for a college student. 

9) Who is your fave fashion inspiration on Instagram? 

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Lulu*s has one of the best fashion Instagrams on Insta in my opinion.  Not only do they have great fashion inspiration, but they have the perfect memes.

10. If I could I would wear (blank) everyday?

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 If I could wear a shift dress every day, I would be perfectly content.  The reason being is that style of dress is perfect for anything.  You can put a blazer of it and then head out to a party after.  Just replace the blazer with a cute necklace.

11) Which character's closet would you raid?

Mindy’s from the Mindy Project / would love to live in her apartment (that sounded a little creepy, but her apartment is NYC goals)

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Rachel Bilson Zoe Hart from Hart of Dixie

Photo courtesy of secretsofagoodgirl.com

Paige Lawson from Royal Pains

Photo courtesy of pinterest.com

 

Kerry Washington as Olivia Pope in Scandal

Photo courtesy of tumblr.com

 12) If you had $ 5,000 to spend on any one item, what would it be?

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In a heartbeat, I would buy the best camera possible.  One of the things that makes a blog stand out is the photos on it. That is the one thing I desperately want for my blog is to have all original photos, but an iPhone does not cut it. 

13) Heels or flats?  

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Heels!

14) What purse do you currently use?  

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Crossbody bag designed by Jessica Simpson

15) Is fashion in your blood or your jeans? 

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 Fashion is definitely in my blood. When my mother was my age, she was designing and sewing all her clothing.  Whenever I have a question about a dress to wear for an event or even if I’m just going to a dinner with my friends, I always ask her opinion. 

6 Ways to Let Someone You Love Go

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In my opinion, relationships are getting harder. Even more so, recognizing it’s time to say goodbye to someone you once loved (or are still in love with) can be extremely challenging even when you know it’s the right thing to do.

1. If you love someone let them go 

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Even though it is kind of a cliché, it is completely valid.  If you love someone and they don’t take the effort to be in your life, they are not worth it in the end.  If someone really wanted you to be in their life, they will stop at nothing to be a part of it.   

2. Write it down 

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Even though it was a big plot line on Friends how horrible pro/con lists are, I have to disagree. It is perfectly okay to write everything down because sometimes things don’t make complete sense in your mind. The only thing is, keep these thoughts to yourself. Write it down just for you, not a fun thing for your friends and you to write to bash an ex.  

3. Listen to your friends, but trust your feelings over theirs

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Friends, they sometimes know exactly what they are talking about, but sometimes they can cloud your judgment and make you feel a certain way about your past relationship.  Also, the best way to get over someone is to stop talking about them.  If you can’t get your mind off of someone, talking to your friends about it for hours may not help you let go.  Talk about it for a little, then move on to a happier subject.

4. If you promise to stay friends, don’t do it right away 

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 Personally, I think if you truly did love this person and saw a future with them, it is best to completely cut ties. Nothing good comes from checking in on an ex or seeing them on your social media feed. But, if you want to stay in eachother’s lives wait a little for everything to settle.  There’s no need to instantly be great friends with an ex, give it a little time and figure out if they’re someone you need in your life.

 5. Distractions are the best thing ever 

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I’m going to leave this one up to you for interpretation. You can either take that painting class you’ve always wanted to take, or leave your number for that cute waiter.  When you end a relationship, you’re going to miss having that love, someone that’s always there to talk to, so distract yourself.

6. Take all the time you need 

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 We all know those people who are constantly in relationships, and the reason they’re relationships never last is they never give themselves time to mourn the previous relationship. When a relationship ends, it is important to take all the time you need to move on, which will help you have more of a successful relationship in the future. Whenever I end something, I feel a little pressure from people to just jump right into something. 

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 Our culture has created these nothing relationships, where people get instant gratification with no feelings or complications. If that is something that works for you, that’s great, but if you’re not about that life, don’t let anyone tell you you need to move on.

Monogram Box Review

Photo courtesy of monogrammonthly.com

When I was a little kid, and to be completely honest, I still look through souvenir shops looking for little license plates with my name on it.   Monogram Monthly is a wonderful monthly subscription box where you get three things with your initials, name, or both.From the box, I received an iPhone stand, a sweatshirt, and a makeup bag.  The box had a hand written note, and everything was made with great detail.

The makeup bag

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 This was my favorite part of the box; I’ve only had one thing that said my name on it and my mother had to hide it because the stool was too unstable for even a four year old to stand on.  What I loved most about it was the size.  I always use the Ipsy bags, which are nice, but way to small to be functional.  This was was the perfect size and said both my name and initials.

 The sweatshirt

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At first I was hesitant on this sweatshirt because the initials were larger than I would've wanted.  When I put the sweatshirt on, I forgot all about it.  This is possibly one of the softest sweatshirts I’ve ever owned.  Also, loved the purple monogram threading.

The phone stand

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The last thing I received was the phone stand which I didn’t get much time with because it was quickly taken over by my parents because it was perfect for playing music in the kitchen.  This, in my opinion, was made very well and was at the perfect angle.

Top 5 Jewelry Stores on Cape Cod

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Jewelry is something I’m extremely picky about. Two things I believe about jewelry is everything is better made by an artist and you should never buy something for someone special at a chain store. A one of a kind piece is a more meaningful gift and the pieces are usually made to a higher quality.  Here’s a list of my favorite places on the Cape.

1. The Unique Boutique

Photo courtesy of uniqueboutiquejewelry.com

This is where I get all my Cape Cod jewelry.  Not only do they have the best quality, but they also have one of the best selections of Cape Cod jewelry.

2. Falmouth Jewelry Shop

Photo courtesy of palmerhouseinn.com

 This shop has some of the most interesting authentic jewelry in Falmouth.  I love the pieces that are something you could only find on Cape Cod.  For example, they have jewelry made out of quahog shells, and it has beautiful craftsmanship.

3. Cranberry Jewelers

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 I’ve lived on the Cape for 20 years and have never heard of Cranberry Jewelry until I went into this shop.  Not only do they have a great selection of one of kind jewelry, it is also all hand crafted.

4. Forest Beach Designer Goldsmiths

Photo courtesy of capecodcharms.com

 When it comes to jewelry, I can’t do basic. I love having something on that not everyone has and the best is something no one could even imagine.  If you’re looking for jewelry that people will be wishing they had, this is the place.  My favorite is their wedding bands, they are unlike anything I’ve ever seen before, and they are perfect.

5. Ross Coppelman Goldsmith

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 Ross Coppelman makes some of the most unique gold jewelry I have ever seen.  It ranges from sleek modern pieces to rough pieces that look vintage.

Confessional: My 4 Biggest Middle-School Makeup Mistakes

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I was never allowed to wear makeup in middle school. I was always told that I could apply it when I was sixteen, so before that my acne and bad eyebrows would never be leveraged by a good mascara or lip-gloss. Well, not really. I would often just bring a cheap makeup kit to school and apply my makeup in the poorly lit, dirty bathrooms and then take it off, of course, before I went home. Middle school was not the highlight of my life and I would like to believe that I’ve improved since then. Looking back on it, I cannot believe my friends didn’t slap that kohl eyeliner out of my hands when they had the chance.

1.    Block Eyebrows

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 My eyebrows were so penciled in sometimes I remember they resembled a caterpillar or something. Eyebrows should not be a thick marker line, instead they should be gradient. I mean, there’s supposed to be hair there. Would you draw with sharpie all over your balding head to insinuate there was hair? No? Of course not, that would make no sense. However, for some reason I thought taking black eyeliner and drawing that over my eyes would be a great idea. It wasn’t.

2.     Dry Lips + Matte Lipstick

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This was probably my biggest sin. If you’re going to apply a matte lipstick in the middle of winter, please just apply lip balm if your lips are a bit Sahara desert. For some reason, I thought it’d be okay to just swipe on really drying lipstick and hope for the best. No. No lipstick would have been better than looking like I had flaking lips. No one needs to see every crack in your lips, it’s scary looking and you look dying and unhealthy.

3.     Clown Blush

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Have you ever seen anyone blush and two perfect circles represented by all the digits of pi appearing on their face? No, you haven’t. Why? That’s because seeing such a thing is impossible. Blush is meant to mimic an actual flushing face, that’s the point. Years ago, women would actually just pinch their cheeks for a blushing effect to appear youthful and flirtatious. What is youthful about two huge circles applied to your cheek? Nothing, that’s just mannequin looking. 

Regardless, I always thought I’d just stick brick red blush on my face without blending and hope for the best. It was very obvious I had blush on, and blush is one of those things you aren’t supposed to notice. Speaking of things you should not notice, continue to mistake number four…

4.     Non-Matching foundation

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I can admit that even now matching foundation is pretty tough. I always sit in the aisle and wonder – am I sand beige or honey sable horse rabbit? Then I start to wonder what those names even mean, and before I know it I just don’t buy anything. Anyway, the point is, foundation is hard. In middle school, it was worse. Whenever you find yourself applying more foundation because the foundation you’re using doesn’t match your skin to the point you need more of it to make sure your face isn’t six colors, then stop. Put the bottle down, you’ve lost. In middle school I was either burnt or appeared a ghastly white. Either way, I looked horrible.

I hope you learned to learn from my mistakes, but I also hope that you’ve made them yourself. I am thankful for my ugly middle-school self. It would be worse to be a pretty middle schooler – because then I wouldn’t have any stories to tell. And life’s all about stories.

The Most Underrated Summer Accessory featuring Irresistible Me

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 June is a month for graduations and it is also the start of wedding season.  Whenever you’re involved in a wedding or are a guest, you spend a good amount of time picking out what you’re going to wear and how you’re going to accessorize it.  Recently, I came across Irresistible Me, a company known for their hair extensions, but they also make hair accessories.

 The Rhea

Photo by Cara Peterson

This was my favorite out of the four. I loved how the pearls were mixed in to create the perfect classic flower pattern. One of the biggest problems with headpieces is usually the quality being low, but this one was made great and it would survive the night.

The Isis

Photo by Cara Peterson

This was my second favorite; it had the same style as the Rhea headband, but was a little more subtle.  This headband would be perfect for a summer party or a casual summer wedding.  Floral is one of my favorite prints to wear this summer, and this headband is the perfect match to your summer floral.

The Venus

Photo by Cara Peterson

In my opinion, this headband is perfect for a formal event in the winter.  Many spring and summer events are held outside.  With this headband, you have to have lighting to get it’s full potential, which you can only get from artificial light.

 The Aurora

Photo by Cara Peterson

This is a fun headband to say the least.  It is perfect for the guest of honor, or if you feel like drawing a little attention to your outfit.

3 Biggest Makeup Myths

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I honestly don’t believe that anyone is really “bad” at makeup. I also don’t need that anyone “needs” makeup. What I do believe is that you need to have the right philosophy to avoid having bad makeup. Whenever I see someone who can’t do makeup, I realize that they generally follow certain beliefs that make makeup useless.

#1: Makeup Hides

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 You can’t really hide anything with makeup. I always see people boast that makeup is so powerful that it can disguise everything on your face but that’s usually just for pictures and bathroom mirrors. In real life, light will fall on your face and reveal that unsightly bump you’re trying to hide. This is not to say that your scars and facial flaws cannot be alleviated with the help of a good foundation or concealer, but nothing is actually hidden. 

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 Once makeup becomes about hiding the parts of your face that you do not like, you become addicted to piling it on and on especially on your worst days. This just leads to a masked, cake-face. Try to think of seeking instead of hiding. You want to lead people’s eyes to the best parts of your face (and I know there are many). 

Photo courtesy of beautylish.com

 Makeup is really like a neon arrow saying “hey look here!” rather than a bandaid covering up a blemish. Lip colors that suit you, highlighter and eyeliner are used to bring eyes to the parts of your face that you favor. Applying makeup with this mindset always makes you happier in the morning, too, so you’re focusing on your good parts and not the things you resent about your (probably perfect) face.

#2: Some People Need Makeup

I really hate this one. There are always people who are going to hate others for wearing makeup and they always claim that some people are just plain ugly without makeup. Refer to Myth #1. Without makeup, no one is going to suddenly have a haggard face. Most people just look tired or younger without makeup. I’ve never seen anyone that’s transformed into another person. 

Photo courtesy of girlfromarabia.com

 Even with contour, the face you were given at birth is pretty much the face that you will reveal to the world every day. You only know yourself through pictures and the bathroom mirror in certain lighting, so maybe you are actually shocked when you take of your Kardashian contour – but they human eye is often more clever. No one is going to think you are hideous without makeup. They might ask if you’re sleepier, but sleepy is cute. Have you ever seen a sleeping puppy or kitten? Totally adorbs! Don’t worry about it.

#3: Wearing Makeup Means You’re Vain

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Let’s be honest. Almost everyone is concerned to a degree about thier appearance. It is not really wise to say that just because someone is intervening with what nature gave them is actually more concerned or vain. I think most people who wear makeup actually find application fun and colors interesting. 

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 It’s horrible to assume that just because someone wears a crop top it means that they think they have the worst body ever and they are self-conscious, right? It’s like that with makeup. Just because someone wears makeup to show off the parts of their face they like or to experiment it doesn’t mean they are robots that are obsessed with physical appearance. It just means that they, um, like makeup. That’s all!