Modern "Love"

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 Since the invention of the Internet 30 years ago, we have gained the world at our fingertips with the use of our phones.  When it comes to love, the use of mobile devices has radically changed how people have relationships.  Millennials, those born between 1982 and 2000 have completely changed the way people start relationships; they are breaking the rules that preceding generations have established and followed.  

The best approach to visualize how dating has changed over time is to start with the older generations; so, I decided to ask my grandfather about his experience with dating.  

“My best friend and I were driving down Shore Street, when we saw two girls walking on the side of the road. We asked them if they wanted a ride to the beach, because that’s what people did back then.  By the time we got to the beach, my friend had a date with one of the girls: your grandmother.  That night I went to her house an hour before my friend was suppose to pick her up, saying he couldn’t make it. Six months later we were married”.

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 When people imagine dating in the 50’s, they think of going to a diner, having a milkshake and a cheeseburger before a drive-in movie.  In some cases, that may have been the reality, but mostly marriages in the 50’s were based on convenience.  Less than 20% of marriages were between people who lived in different towns. The appeal of dating apps is people meet people they wouldn’t in their daily lives.

Whenever there is a social change and new technology there is always resistance.  Even though dating websites are fairly new, they have been accused of creating a “Dating Apocalypse”. Are mobile dating apps a revolution or an armageddon?

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The creation of a dating profile is a modern invention that affects how people view others, and also the way people view themselves.  When it comes to men and women, they’re very different in what profiles they are interested in.  Men swipe in a simple way that is predictable and their data looks like a bell curve.  When you look at the curve of women swiping men, it doesn’t look anything like a bell curve.  The graph is skewed, it’s harder to predict the type of men women will be interested in, rather than what type of women men will be interested in.  People are finding that they’re matching with people they are more compatible with.  A while ago the divorce rate spiked, but since the mid 2000’s the divorce rate is lowering and leveling out.  

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Unlike meeting someone in person, online dating allows one to know the basic information about someone and create a connection, but you don’t gain the physical connection. When you meet someone online, you miss out on get body language, sounds, and expressions. Online dating is killing romance because it’s making it too easy.  It’s easier to respond to a text with a calculated response, rather than meeting at a coffee shop and having the awkwardness of a face-to-face interaction, coming up with responses in the moment.  

Tinder gathers massive amounts of data, with over 26 million matches a day, it is one of the most used social apps in the world.  It creates an easy way for people to meet people close to their age who share a common interest, but it is also eliminating the need for in-person social interaction.  When you walk into a lecture, everyone is on their phones and people are less likely to make conversation with the person sitting next to them.  

Photo courtesy of  lifestyleofabonvivant.com

Mobile dating apps create access to meet more people than you normally would, but  it makes it less likely for people to settle down and be in a relationship.  Dating apps create a way for people to find the partner that they want when they want.  Dating apps are not going to end real relationships, but they are also not a sure way of finding a partner.  Where a person is living and where they work are still very important, which is why it is still the most popular place for someone to find their partner.  Mobile dating apps are not completely changing the way people view relationships. Mobile dating websites are used because they are an effective source, but it’s up to the people using them to figure out what they want to use these apps for.   

5 Quick tips for music festivals

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Music festivals are a great way to get away for the weekend with some friends and listen to some music. Here are a few tips to get you ready for the weekend.

1. Wear comfortable shoes 

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Let’s start with the basics. There’s no need to wear platform shoes because after about thirty minutes you’re going to be in pain, and no one wants to walk about a music festival barefoot. Boots are great to wear, because they’re fashionable and they’re super comfy.

(Dress lulus.com, boots FRYE, bag Macys)

2. Over accessorizing is not a thing 

Photo courtesy of lookbook.nu

You can never have enough flash tattoos and flower headbands. Don’t be afraid to over accessorize because it looks great. It’s fun and unique.

(Palazzo jumpsuit JP, Floppy hat ASOS, Flash tattoos)

3. Wear clothing you can dance in 

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The last thing you want to be wearing is a dress you can’t move in.  Wear a crop top and some shorts.  Also, what works great is a flowy top and some shorts.  If it gets too warm wear a bandeau under it and you’re set.

(Black crop top Urban outfitters, jean shorts Pacsun, Flannel shirt JCREW, ankle boots ASOS)

4.  Bring a sweater or sweatshirt 

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Being hot is one thing, grab a cold water bottle and you’re set.  But when you’re cold with nothing warm to wear, you’re a little stuck. Bring a little sweater or sweatshirt in case you get cold.

(Lace tunic Appleseed, small fringe bag Forward,  beaded ankle boots FRYE)

5. Avoid Heavy Makeup 

Photo courtesy of lookbook.nu

You’re going to be dancing in the heavy sun, the last thing you want is your makeup to drip and get in in your eyes.  Keep it natural.  Also, if you’re camping, it’s a pain to get it off with no running water. 

 (Fringe boots Styles for less, Lace shorts Charlotte Russe, Blue Bag Bergdorf Goodman)

13 Stores off Church Street you have to shop at before you drop

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Church Street Marketplace is the place when it comes to shopping on Burlington according to anyone, but the stores on the side streets are the hidden gems of Burlington.

1.Old Gold

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If you’re looking for a vintage piece for a theme party or a fancy dress, you have to go to this store.  It is one of the most interesting stores i’ve ever been in and you can get pretty much anything you need.

2. Liebling

Photo courtesy of lieblingvt.com

One of the most fashion forward stores in Burlington in my opinion.  This store sells very contemporary clothing perfect for the most fashion obsessed women.

3. Nido

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Nido is a heaven for anyone who is a DIY lover.  Not only do they sell amazing unique fabrics, they also hold classes.

4. Lunaroma Aromatic Apothecary

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Lunaroma offers some of the highest quality soaps and lotions in Burlington.  If you’re looking for the perfect gift for your spa enthusiast friend, come here. 

5. Burn Gallery 

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Even if you don’t partake in what you think this store is all about, you have to walk in and see their pieces.  They are one of a kind and are gorgeous.

6. Rackk and Ruin

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 This store has the most creative jewelry I’ve ever seen.  Their pieces are made from a mixture of vintage metals, and crafted by hand.

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7. My Little Cupcake

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I would just like to tell everyone how amazing this place is.  Their treats are small and reasonably priced, which allows you to try out a few flavors without having to decide on just one big cupcake.  They also give you a free cupcake if you buy a glass of wine or heady topper.

8. Common Deer

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What I love about this store is the little things they sell. They sell great blankets and linens, but I love the little pieces of jewelry and homewares.

9. The Crystal Cottage of Vermont

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This is one of the most inspiring stores in Burlington. They have genuine crystal and their owners are extremely passionate about their store.

10. The Green Life 

Photo courtesy of  www.thegreenlifevt.com/

The reason I walked into this store was because they had a sign outside which said “Organic Mattress” and I had to find out what made a mattress organic. Aside from the mattress, this store sells something for everything. From shatterless wine glasses to onesies.

11. Burlington Records

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This store is a music lover's dream and that is not an exaggeration at all. Not only do they sell everything from vintage records, they also sell instruments, and also buy music.

12. Vermont Farm Table

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If you’re looking for amazing handmade furniture you have to come to this store.  These owners care about their products and make sure they are extremely well made.

13. Hydrangea Too

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hydrangeatoo.com/

Hydrangea too is an accessory store located on College Street.  One of my favorite things is everything is always changing. 

5 Reasons Why The Bachelor is The Most Unfeminist Show on TV

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The Bachelor is one of my biggest guilty pleasures, but it is truly one of the worst shows on television.  It plays with people's emotions, is unrealistic, and is insulting to women.  I just recently watched Unreal, a fictional show that is about the behind the scenes abo a show similar to The Bachelor.

1. It puts women against each other for a man’s attention 

Gif courtesy of  etonline.com

One of the biggest problems in feminism is women not supporting each other.  More often than not, women call other women words like “slut and whore” rather than men.  Every season of The Bachelor these words are not absent from the screen.

2. Women get called out for having sex, but the men do not

Gif courtesy of wetpaint.com

Does anyone not think that Ben Higgins did not have sex with all of his final three women? Ben never shed a tear about it or was made to feel bad about about having sex with these women, but Kaitlyn was called out and made to explain herself.  Kaitlyn is able to make her own decisions so why was it a big deal that she decided to have sex before the fantasy suite.

3. The Dates 

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In the group dates, the women are always in competition against each other. For example, in Sean's season they had a Derby date where many of the women got injured; and in the current season, where they had a trivia contest and the women couldn’t recall where a state was on the map. 

Photo courtesy of conservativenewager.com

Then recall the “Pretty Women” date in Sean's season.  A woman was taken to Rodeo Drive and picked out a dress to match her diamond earrings and necklace.  Leslie, the women taken on the date then said, “Sean has taken control and made me feel more like a woman than I’ve ever felt before.” Bringing up the concept that women can’t control their own destiny.

4. It’s all about views and money 

Gif courtesy of hellogiggles.com

The producers of this show do not care about the women of this show, they care about what can make them money.  They play on emotion and jealousy.  If someone is crying there’s a camera on it in seconds, their breakups are in public and are never done in a sensible way.   For example, the final rose - the engagement.   When the bachelor is getting ready to propose he knows which one he’s sending home.  Why put the girl through getting ready, seeing him in a suit, in a romantic setting, than just letting her down easy privately.

5. 2015 Season of The Bachelorette 

Gif courtesy of  bustle.com

This season of The Bachelorette went too far. Not only did they pick two women to be the bachelorette, but they put them against each other. Through the editing, they made Britt look like the pretty one, and Kaitlyn the funny one. This is something I don’t believe they would ever of done on The Bachelor.

FantaSea Jewelry

Photo by FantaSea Jewelry

FantaSea Jewelry is handcrafted ocean and nature inspired jewelry that is located on the little island of St. Croix, US Virgin Islands.  

I just recently received one of their bracelets and wanted to share a little about how much I love this company and their products.  

Growing up on The Cape, I’m very familiar to the hook style bracelet.  They are my favorite style of jewelry.  What impressed me the most with this store was their customer service, their craftsmanship, and the style.

Photo by FantaSea Jewelry

Even though they are located in The Virgin Islands, they have an Etsy shop which features their ocean inspired jewelry with custom options.  They also have amazing opal jewelry you have to check out.

I was impressed with how well this bracelet was made.  The bracelet was only $95 dollars and was made just as well as my hook bracelet that is more than twice the price.  Two years ago for Christmas, I bought a cape cod basket hook bracelet and the hook kept coming undone and lost it when I was staying at a friend’s house, never to be found again. Unlike that bracelet, this one has never fallen off or even clipped off.  

Photo by FantaSea Jewelry

Lastly, I would like to point out the style of this bracelet.  It is very unique and simply beautiful.  They have the same style of the bracelet I have with a gemstone in the middle. 

Photo by FantaSea Jewelry

Why All About That Bass is Terrible for Body Image

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I’ve been wanting to write this since I was a senior in high school. The reason I never wrote it is because Meghan Trainor and I are from the same area. Considering all the bad press The Cape gets, I didn’t want to add any flames to the fire, but this song should not be praised for its message about body image.  

The song does bring up some good points about body image.  That you should love your body and how horrible Photoshop is, but Meghan Trainor lost it when she explains what she believes is beautiful.  

Photo courtesy of gallantgirls.com

Let’s start with “Yeah, my mama she told me ‘don't worry about your size’, she says, ‘boys like a little more booty to hold at night’”.  Not only is this quote saying that girls are more beautiful if they have curves (not that all girls are beautiful), but is also saying that women should measure their self esteem based on what guys think about them.  

This was the line that hurt me the most, “Go 'head and tell them skinny bitches that, No, I'm just playing, I know you think you're fat”. For the most part of my life, I have always been 5’5” and 120 pounds. When I was a senior in high school I got very sick. I started to get sick everytime I ate and eventually lost my appetite. I lost around 20 pounds.  

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Gaining that weight back was extremely challenging.  I had to completely change my diet, while still getting sick with things I ate. It was extremely painful, I was the weakest I’ve been in my life.  

Everyone’s body is different, and I’m naturally a size 2 and like most girls, I also have body issues. I’ve been told I weigh too much, I’m too skinny, or that my body is perfect.  Meghan Trainor does save herself by saying “I’m playing” after saying skinny bitches, but then says “I know you think you’re fat” which made me sad because just because does not mean you don't have body issues.

Photo courtesy of sodahead.com

I do think that Meghan Trainor is a great person with an amazing voice, but I think she needs to apologize for this song.  The reason being, it is not positive about body image.  It is one sided and does not appreciate all different body types.  In my opinion this song is offensive to women because it does not appreciate every body and how everyone's body if beautiful.