6 Ways to Let Someone You Love Go

Photo courtesy of thebridgemaker.com

In my opinion, relationships are getting harder. Even more so, recognizing it’s time to say goodbye to someone you once loved (or are still in love with) can be extremely challenging even when you know it’s the right thing to do.

1. If you love someone let them go 

Photo courtesy of theodysseyonline.com

Even though it is kind of a cliché, it is completely valid.  If you love someone and they don’t take the effort to be in your life, they are not worth it in the end.  If someone really wanted you to be in their life, they will stop at nothing to be a part of it.   

2. Write it down 

Photo courtesy of enjoyingtheartofliving.com

Even though it was a big plot line on Friends how horrible pro/con lists are, I have to disagree. It is perfectly okay to write everything down because sometimes things don’t make complete sense in your mind. The only thing is, keep these thoughts to yourself. Write it down just for you, not a fun thing for your friends and you to write to bash an ex.  

3. Listen to your friends, but trust your feelings over theirs

Photo courtesy of thoughtcatalog.com

Friends, they sometimes know exactly what they are talking about, but sometimes they can cloud your judgment and make you feel a certain way about your past relationship.  Also, the best way to get over someone is to stop talking about them.  If you can’t get your mind off of someone, talking to your friends about it for hours may not help you let go.  Talk about it for a little, then move on to a happier subject.

4. If you promise to stay friends, don’t do it right away 

Photo courtesy of readunwritten.com

 Personally, I think if you truly did love this person and saw a future with them, it is best to completely cut ties. Nothing good comes from checking in on an ex or seeing them on your social media feed. But, if you want to stay in eachother’s lives wait a little for everything to settle.  There’s no need to instantly be great friends with an ex, give it a little time and figure out if they’re someone you need in your life.

 5. Distractions are the best thing ever 

Photo courtesy of javaura.com

I’m going to leave this one up to you for interpretation. You can either take that painting class you’ve always wanted to take, or leave your number for that cute waiter.  When you end a relationship, you’re going to miss having that love, someone that’s always there to talk to, so distract yourself.

6. Take all the time you need 

Photo courtesy of reloveplanet.com

 We all know those people who are constantly in relationships, and the reason they’re relationships never last is they never give themselves time to mourn the previous relationship. When a relationship ends, it is important to take all the time you need to move on, which will help you have more of a successful relationship in the future. Whenever I end something, I feel a little pressure from people to just jump right into something. 

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

 Our culture has created these nothing relationships, where people get instant gratification with no feelings or complications. If that is something that works for you, that’s great, but if you’re not about that life, don’t let anyone tell you you need to move on.

Modern "Love"

Photo courtesy of elitedaily.com

 Since the invention of the Internet 30 years ago, we have gained the world at our fingertips with the use of our phones.  When it comes to love, the use of mobile devices has radically changed how people have relationships.  Millennials, those born between 1982 and 2000 have completely changed the way people start relationships; they are breaking the rules that preceding generations have established and followed.  

The best approach to visualize how dating has changed over time is to start with the older generations; so, I decided to ask my grandfather about his experience with dating.  

“My best friend and I were driving down Shore Street, when we saw two girls walking on the side of the road. We asked them if they wanted a ride to the beach, because that’s what people did back then.  By the time we got to the beach, my friend had a date with one of the girls: your grandmother.  That night I went to her house an hour before my friend was suppose to pick her up, saying he couldn’t make it. Six months later we were married”.

Photo courtesy of goodmenproject.com

 When people imagine dating in the 50’s, they think of going to a diner, having a milkshake and a cheeseburger before a drive-in movie.  In some cases, that may have been the reality, but mostly marriages in the 50’s were based on convenience.  Less than 20% of marriages were between people who lived in different towns. The appeal of dating apps is people meet people they wouldn’t in their daily lives.

Whenever there is a social change and new technology there is always resistance.  Even though dating websites are fairly new, they have been accused of creating a “Dating Apocalypse”. Are mobile dating apps a revolution or an armageddon?

Photo courtesy of vanityfair.com

The creation of a dating profile is a modern invention that affects how people view others, and also the way people view themselves.  When it comes to men and women, they’re very different in what profiles they are interested in.  Men swipe in a simple way that is predictable and their data looks like a bell curve.  When you look at the curve of women swiping men, it doesn’t look anything like a bell curve.  The graph is skewed, it’s harder to predict the type of men women will be interested in, rather than what type of women men will be interested in.  People are finding that they’re matching with people they are more compatible with.  A while ago the divorce rate spiked, but since the mid 2000’s the divorce rate is lowering and leveling out.  

Photo courtesy of garancedore.fr

Unlike meeting someone in person, online dating allows one to know the basic information about someone and create a connection, but you don’t gain the physical connection. When you meet someone online, you miss out on get body language, sounds, and expressions. Online dating is killing romance because it’s making it too easy.  It’s easier to respond to a text with a calculated response, rather than meeting at a coffee shop and having the awkwardness of a face-to-face interaction, coming up with responses in the moment.  

Tinder gathers massive amounts of data, with over 26 million matches a day, it is one of the most used social apps in the world.  It creates an easy way for people to meet people close to their age who share a common interest, but it is also eliminating the need for in-person social interaction.  When you walk into a lecture, everyone is on their phones and people are less likely to make conversation with the person sitting next to them.  

Photo courtesy of  lifestyleofabonvivant.com

Mobile dating apps create access to meet more people than you normally would, but  it makes it less likely for people to settle down and be in a relationship.  Dating apps create a way for people to find the partner that they want when they want.  Dating apps are not going to end real relationships, but they are also not a sure way of finding a partner.  Where a person is living and where they work are still very important, which is why it is still the most popular place for someone to find their partner.  Mobile dating apps are not completely changing the way people view relationships. Mobile dating websites are used because they are an effective source, but it’s up to the people using them to figure out what they want to use these apps for.   

5 Reasons Why The Bachelor is The Most Unfeminist Show on TV

Photo courtesy of  hulu.com

The Bachelor is one of my biggest guilty pleasures, but it is truly one of the worst shows on television.  It plays with people's emotions, is unrealistic, and is insulting to women.  I just recently watched Unreal, a fictional show that is about the behind the scenes abo a show similar to The Bachelor.

1. It puts women against each other for a man’s attention 

Gif courtesy of  etonline.com

One of the biggest problems in feminism is women not supporting each other.  More often than not, women call other women words like “slut and whore” rather than men.  Every season of The Bachelor these words are not absent from the screen.

2. Women get called out for having sex, but the men do not

Gif courtesy of wetpaint.com

Does anyone not think that Ben Higgins did not have sex with all of his final three women? Ben never shed a tear about it or was made to feel bad about about having sex with these women, but Kaitlyn was called out and made to explain herself.  Kaitlyn is able to make her own decisions so why was it a big deal that she decided to have sex before the fantasy suite.

3. The Dates 

Photo courtesy of parade.com

In the group dates, the women are always in competition against each other. For example, in Sean's season they had a Derby date where many of the women got injured; and in the current season, where they had a trivia contest and the women couldn’t recall where a state was on the map. 

Photo courtesy of conservativenewager.com

Then recall the “Pretty Women” date in Sean's season.  A woman was taken to Rodeo Drive and picked out a dress to match her diamond earrings and necklace.  Leslie, the women taken on the date then said, “Sean has taken control and made me feel more like a woman than I’ve ever felt before.” Bringing up the concept that women can’t control their own destiny.

4. It’s all about views and money 

Gif courtesy of hellogiggles.com

The producers of this show do not care about the women of this show, they care about what can make them money.  They play on emotion and jealousy.  If someone is crying there’s a camera on it in seconds, their breakups are in public and are never done in a sensible way.   For example, the final rose - the engagement.   When the bachelor is getting ready to propose he knows which one he’s sending home.  Why put the girl through getting ready, seeing him in a suit, in a romantic setting, than just letting her down easy privately.

5. 2015 Season of The Bachelorette 

Gif courtesy of  bustle.com

This season of The Bachelorette went too far. Not only did they pick two women to be the bachelorette, but they put them against each other. Through the editing, they made Britt look like the pretty one, and Kaitlyn the funny one. This is something I don’t believe they would ever of done on The Bachelor.

5 Reasons to Love the Gym

 

When I moved into school freshman year, I couldn't wait to go to the gym. I thought it would be so nice to have a place to workout where all I needed to do was swipe a card. Well the motivation I had to go to the gym the first day quickly went away. It wasn't that I was busy and didn't have time to go to the gym it was more that I didn't know how to “gym”.

It’s not like high school gym class, where when you’re in the workout room you pretend to be doing something and wipe your forehead when the gym teacher walks by. You have to actually look like you know what you’re doing.  Here’s a few of my tips to learn to love the gym when you couldn’t be less athletic.

Gif courtesy of gifsec.com

1. Know the times to go 

Photo courtesy of lovethispic.com

My favorite time to go to the gym is Sunday night.  The reason being is there’s about three people there meaning you can use any machine you want.  Also, sometimes it’s a little intimidating to be at the gym next to people lifting more than twice your weight.  Honestly, how is that possible?

2. Ignore Everyone

Photo courtesy of
lovethispic.com

 Even if it you thought there would be no one at the gym at 7:03 on a Tuesday morning and now it’s packed and the only one left is the death machine.  Use the “death machine” until the bike is open and don’t care if you think other people are looking. I’m always so concentrated on texting and not falling on the machine, everyone else probably is too.

3. It’s a Great Stress Reliever 

Photo courtesy of wesleying.org

College is stressful, bet you’ve never heard that before. Instead of staying in bed watching Netflix, take your phone and headphones to the gym and watch Netflix while working out. There you can still get your binge watching in and not feel like you wasted any time.

4. Make A killer Playlist 

Photo courtesy of giphy.com

Put on those guilty pleasures only you like, because you’re roommate can’t give you a hard time at the gym.

5. Cute Workout Clothing

Photo courtesy of thegloss.com

Even though last year when I got into going to the gym I couldn't help online shopping for cute workout clothing and it was so worth it.

A Hitchcock Spin on Wildess Dreams

 

Probably about six months ago I saw Taylor Swift’s music video Wildest Dreams and thought of a completely different idea that would of been way better than the one published.

When I first started watching the video, the first thing that came to my mind was Hitchcock.  For anyone that knows anything about Hitchcock, he loved blondes.  Since I was in high school I've been a little obsessed with Hitchcock and all his movies.

One of Hitchcock's favorite actresses was Grace Kelly.  Grace Kelly was a gorgeous actress that starred in a few of his movies.  Grace Kelly later retired from acting when she married Prince Rainier and became the princess of Monaco.

Grace was very pretty, nice and was rumored to have affairs with her leading male roles.  During the filming of Rear Window there was a rumored affair between Grace and James Stewart.  At the times Stewart was married.  

 

Why I think this would of been a great idea for this video is because that was an iconic time in history.  Another part is I think Taylor Swift could've been a great Grace Kelly.  The thing is Taylor goes through all these painful breakups, but you don't see it in her videos or her face.  

 

You can't be a good artist if you have not gone through some rough painful times.  In my opinion, Taylor needs to stop being this cookie cutter perfect human being.  Because Taylor is like Grace in a way.  She comes off as nice, pretty but, there is more to a person than nice and pretty.  

 

I think this vintage Hitchcock idea would of been a good idea for the video because Taylor could build on Grace's pain.  Even though the affair is only a rumor it was a talked about event in Hollywood and would of been a better idea for this video.  

8 Outfits For Tinder Dates to Love to First Sight Dates

1. The Tinder Date

You have both swiped right and the conversation started.  You and your roommate creeped through his Facebook and he doesn't look like a serial killer and your two mutual friends say he is a good guy. 

So now what do you do walk out in your yogas and a sweatshirt?

In my experience with tinder (yeah not so proud of it, but its college right?) a tinder date is watching Netflix.  Be casual and dress comfortably.  I just read an article that said to wear a dress to a tinder date just no please don't.  Jeans sneakers and a shirt are perfect tinder date apparel. 

(p.s Real nice guys do not say they're nice guys)

2. The Blind Date

Top

Skirt

 The thing about a blind date is it doesn't really matter what you are wearing, because no offense few guys know about women's fashion .  A blind date is about learning about the person you are on a date with.  Probably before social media this is a bigger issue but you don't know anything about this person so take more time learning about our date then worry if your shirt matches your shoes.  

For this date chances are it's on a weekday and you will have to go after work or class.  For this date I would dress in the middle of dressed and casual.  Wearing a shirt and a skirt is the most dressed up you really need to be. 

3. The 'Set Up By Grandma' Date

Lace Dress

 Chances are you have been dreading this date all week, well unless the women in grandma's book club is the mother of Theo James (if only).  But you never know Grandma might have found your prince charming.  

For this outfit dress respectful.  Here's a little tip of mine, never wear low cut clothing on a first date if you want the relationship to last.  Your boobs will not catch a good relationship your brain will.  Not saying borrow your grandmothers clothing but dress up, look cute and classy. 

4. The Eharmony Date

Now that we are in the time where now you can find a husband by paying a website 9.99 every month is something that is pretty interesting and strange.  The things about these sites is they make questionnaires and you have a profile.  Chances are when you are going on the date your date already knows things about you.  

You do you.  That means dress how you want to and don't let any magazine or Jenny your office partner tell you what to wear.  Also with these dates it could be anything because it's about sharing interests.  If you both are red socks fans wearing a LBD to Fenway park might be a little much.  

Dress

5. The Is this or isn't this a Date

Did the cute guy in your office ask you out to drinks to get to know you better or did he ask to get some advice on his new account?  This is a situation I'm pretty sure everyone has been in at least one time in their life.  Like cute hem lab partners, why do schools do this to us?

In this situation you can never go wrong with a little black dress.  With the accessories do not go overboard wearing a cute pare of heels is perfect.  Also if it is not a date then you can say you're going out with the girls later or if it is a date, well I'll leave that up to you. 

Little Black dress 

6. The Ex-Date

Whether you broke it off with him or he did with you look flawless either way.  Always dress for where you are going, whether you are going to dinner or meeting at Central Park, it does not mean you have to dress down or up. Blair wears heels in Central Park so can you. 

For this I'm leaving it up to you, wear your favorite outfit or the sweater he loved on you.  The advice I want to give you is do not go over the top, there is no need to take as long a Kim does to get ready.  Chances are he's seen you without any makeup on so if you show up with a different skin color he might notice.  

Dress

7. The Classmate Date

Chances are he has seen you with two hours of sleep and you didn't have enough time to make coffee.   Long story short he's seen you at your worse.  

For this outfit I would dress in something you have not worn to class and if you wake up 15 minutes before class like me something that you have put a little more effort in.  Even though they say guys never notice anything I have to give them a little more credit.  Take the couple minutes and straighten your hair to put on a new necklace.  

Casual dress

8. The Romeo And Juliet Date

You met at your friend from works New Years Eve Party and when the clock hit midnight you both locked eyes.  Out of all the dates this one is going to be the hardest one because your nerves will start to kick in.  

For this outfit you are going to be asking everyone what they think you should wear even your postman.  My advice is ask one person, your ally, the one person that will tell you the honest truth but in a nice way.  My advice is wear something that you are comfortable in and something that won't make you more nervous.  The last thing you want is having to worry if your new dress is too short, too low cut, or the zipper only zipped up half way and last minute you have to think of something else to wear.  

ModCloth

Long Distance Relationships

Everyone knows how it feels to have long distant relationships.  Weather it be you and your best friend sense kindergarten when to college thousands of miles away or your spouse is serving their country over seas we all have felt the horrible pain of missing someone.  I'm just kinda going with the flow for this article so Just go with it but not in the crappy Adam Sander movie way.

First in this post I'm going to focus on your long distant relationships with your friends.  Everyone moves on in their life and when they move on they have to leave their friends behind.  The thing to remember is you're not leaving your friends behind your just making a change.  The biggest problem in this is you worry more about that something is going to change and you won't be friends anymore but its more important to stay connected to your friends.  Start a group message, arrange weekly Skype calls.  Chances are your friend is feeling the same way.  A great why to stay connected and show your friends that you care is send little care packages even if it's even a letter trust me they will appreciate it.  

For people who are in romantic long distant relationships I have to commend you on trying to make it work.  Those of you who have loved ones over seas I wish I had your strength to work and show your love to your loved ones.  The first thing I have to say is that long distant relationships are fucking challenging.(Sorry I had no other way to form it).  The only positive about long distant relationships is when you finally see that person you've been wanting to see for so long its wonderful and then it ends and you go back to your normal life.  It gets to the point where you feel alone, and the only thing to help with feeling alone is getting distracted.  Find a hobby connect more with your friends.  

Now comes the hard part making these relationships work.  Communication is the biggest part of making these relationships work.  There are so many couples apps like feel me, pair, and couple.  The best thing to use is Skype or FaceTime because then you can at least see their face and hear their voice.  

Another Idea for making these relationships work is send each other little love gifts.  A classic idea is sending a message in a bottle another idea is making little cards that your significant other can open when a certain thing happens in their life.  For example open when you've had a bad day...

Finally my advice is make sure your relationship is worth the pain that you are going through from being away from this person.  Makes sure that the relationship is something that has a future and that your relationship is going to progress in the future and not crash and burn the second you come home.    I know personally that this can be hard but don't let it overcome your life and have trust in the relationship. 

love, Cara